A Journey to Acceptance
by Klainelover1997
Summary: Twelve Months ago, Kurt and Blaine Anderson-Hummel never would have thought they'd be sitting in an office of an adoption agency waiting to meet their new baby. As they embark on this new journey, Kurt and Blaine find themselves clinging to the past, not wanting to let go, but knowing that they need to.
1. Prologue

**Hey guys! I am so excited to be writing this story. I've looked around and I can honestly say that I haven't found any story that's going to cover the type of events I'm going to in this story. It's going to be a roller coaster of emotions beginning to finish so get the tissues ready. Thank you always to my dedicated follower and reviewers. I can't wait to hear from you again. :) To though of you who are new to my stories, please review. I love hearing from all of you. **

**Anyway...Enjoy! :)**

_**Monday, March 3, 2025**_

The sun shines through the light blue curtains early Monday morning into a two bedroom, New York City apartment. In the one bedroom, two boys lay nestled in a large King sized bed together, their bodies pressed against one another. Even though the sun is shining, it's still early; early enough for both boys to still be fast asleep, but that is not the case. Kurt Hummel is wide awake and he lays in his husband's grasp. He stares off of into the distance, letting his thoughts wander before his eyes look back to the clock on the bedside table.

"_Damn, it's barely been a minute"_ He thinks. He knows today is going to be a very long, but memorable day and that he really should get some sleep. Yet, here he lies, wide awake...bored out of his mind. Some part of Kurt wants to get up and go do something, but the other wants to remain in the arms of his husband, who unlike himself, is fast asleep.

"mhmm...know you're awake." Blaine murmurs, which pulls Kurt from his thoughts.

"Shh...go back to sleep." Kurt replies, trying to lull his into his previous slumber. "It's still early."

"Can't." Blaine groans tiredly. "Too excited. Been up for hours."

"You have not." Kurt argues. "I've been up for hours and you've barely moved."

"I'm a better actor than you." Blaine jokes, cuddling closer.

"Don't you dare mister." Kurt interjects. "Don't you try to cuddle me after criticizing my acting." he adds trying to pull his body from Blaine's grasp.

"No...I'm sorry." Blaine apologizes, pulling Kurt back into his arms. "It's cold. Stay." Kurt just sighs and then nestles himself back into Blaine's chest.

"I can't believe today is finally the day." Kurt mutters softly.

"I know." Blaine replies. "I can't wait to meet her."

"Me too." Kurt replied. "I can't stop thinking of that picture we saw in the registry." He pauses for a moment, before looking at his husband. "Can we get up please?" he asks. "I can't sleep. She's the only thing on my mind. C-can we just- get up and maybe take a shower?" he asks. "Together? This is the last time we'll be baby free for a while." he adds with a huge smile and puppy dog eyes.

"I think I can rationalize moving if it involves a shower with you." he replies. Kurt smiles back and then, they both get up and head back into the bathroom. Once inside, they turn the water on and wait for it to get warm before stripping off their clothing and getting in. They stand under the warm stream of water, Blaine holding Kurt in his arms as he kisses his neck. They stay like that for a while before finally cleaning themselves and getting out of the shower. Once out and dried, they head to the closet to find outfits to wear for the day. Kurt fingers through the different articles of clothing in his closet trying to find the perfect attire for a very special day. He settles for a pair of dark blue jeans and plain light blue button up with a blue scarf. Blue was a lucky color after all. Blaine however seemed to go for a simpler luck; a simple pair of jeans with red polo and of course...a bowtie.

"Kurt, babe!" Blaine calls from the bathroom where he's finishing up brushing his teeth. "You almost ready? We don't want to be late."

"Yeah, I'm good!" Kurt replies from the bedroom. "Just making sure we have everything we'll need for the meeting." he adds piling dozens of papers into a manila folder. When finished, he heads to the bathroom where Blaine is finishing up gelling his hair. "Come on handsome. I thought I was the one who was going to make us late."

'I know, I know." Blaine laughs. "I'm almost finished. I promise." he adds as he reaches his hands into the sink and rinses the gel off of them. "Okay, now I'm 's go." he says, turning towards his husband and reaching for his hand. Kurt gladly takes his husband's hand before walking out of the apartment and down the hallway to get to the parking lot. Once there, Blaine gets into the passenger seat, while Kurt gets into the driver's seat of the large black Navigator. He turns on the car and then looks around to make sure no other cars are coming before he backs up. When he turns his head to look back, he smiles at the purple carseat strapped into one of the back seats. After driving the car back far enough, Kurt turns the wheel and drives out of the parking garage and onto the streets of New York.

"You're sure you have all the paperwork?" Blaine asks nervously, fingering the folder in his hands.

"Yes hun." Kurt replies. "I'm positive." he adds as he reaches over and grabs Blaine hand, running his fingers over his husband's knuckles softly. "Everything is going to be okay, alright?" he says and Blaine nods, letting out a sigh. Five minutes later, they pull into the parking lot of the New York Adoption Agency and Kurt parks the car. After, both boys get out of the car and walk hand in hand into the building. Just inside the door is the front desk, where a woman sits, a computer in front of her.

"Hello, we're here to see Mrs. Berk." Kurt tells her.

"Name?" the woman asks, not bothering to look up from her computer.

"Anderson-Hummel." he tells her. The woman nods and scrolling with the computer's mouse, she finds their appointment.

"Mrs. Berk will be right with you." She tells them. "You can take a seat over there."

"Thank you." Both Kurt and Blaine reply as they walk away from the front desk and take a seat on the blue padded chairs in the waiting area. While sitting in the waiting area, Kurt notices his husband's leg nervously bouncing up and down while his eyes dart around the room. Kurt smiles and places his hand on Blaine's leg.

"Sorry." he murmurs."

"It's okay." Kurt tells him. "It's okay to be nervous. I'm so nervous right now."

"We're doing the right thing… right?" Blaine asks.

"Definitely." Kurt replies taking his husband's hand. "This- she is exactly what we need." Blaine smiles back at Kurt. His husband always did know how to calm him down. Suddenly, they hear a door open and a tall woman dressed in a pants suit walks out.

"Mr and Mr. Anderson-Hummel?" She calls.

"That's us." Blaine replies, standing up with Kurt at his side. They follow Mrs. Berk into her office and sit down in the two seats in front of her desk while she sits on the other side.

"It's so great to meet both of you. Jenny, your social worker, has told me so much about you too." Mrs. Berk begins. "I'd really like to hear it from you both first hand though. Tell me, why do you want to adopt? Why are you two here?" she asks a bright smile on her face. Blaine and Kurt look at one another before turning their attention back to Mrs. Berk.

"How much time do you have?" Kurt asks.

"Because this is sort of a long story." Blaine add onto his husband's previous question.

"I have all the time in the world." Mrs. Berk replies. "I'd like to hear this story."

"Okay, here we go." Kurt replied, looking at his husband. "Here we go…"


	2. Chapter 1

**I'd like to call these chapters the fluff before the storm! Enjoy and please review!**

_**Wednesday, March 13, 2024**_

Everything is silent in the small hospital room.. In the corner sits a small green couch where Kurt and Blaine are currently sitting. In Blaine's arms is a newborn baby boy that both boys are staring at intently. He's six pounds, two ounces, nineteen inches long and absolutely perfect. Even though, their surrogate Lucy went into labor two weeks early, the little boy had come out absolutely fine, just a little on the smaller side. "I can't believe he's ours." Blaine says in disbelief, not taking eyes off of their newborn son.

"I know." Kurt agrees. "I feel like I'm in a dream. He's just so perfect."

"He's our little miracle." Blaine adds before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the infant's head. "Our little miracle does need a name though."

"Well, what names haven't we ruled out?" Kurt asks, pulling out his phone to check the note they had been making for months. "Do we still like Kyle?" Blaine made a face and shrugged.

"He doesn't look like a Kyle." he replied. "Can I see the list?" Kurt nods and positions his cellphone screen in Blaine's direction so he can see the name choices as well. "I like Caleb."

"I like it, but not as first name." Kurt tells his husband. "What about Ryan?"

"Ryan Caleb?" Blaine asks and Kurt smiles back.

"Ryan Caleb." he agrees.

"Welcome to the world Ryan Caleb Anderson-Hummel." Blaine replies, leaning down once again to kiss his son, who is peacefully sleeping in his arms.

_**Friday, March 15, 2024**_

Two days later, it's time for Ryan to go home. While Blaine is filling out paperwork, Kurt is in the hospital room getting Ryan changed. Months ago, he had found this website that allows you to design your own baby clothes, so naturally he had to do it. Now, he pulled the light blue sleeper onto his son's body. "Don't you just look so cute?" he coos at the baby. When he finishes snapping the buttons, Kurt can't help but smile at the sight before him; his son in the blue sleeper with a dark blue bowtie towards the top and the words "I love my daddies!" running around his chest. "Are you ready to go home?" He coos in a sing-song voice as he picks Ryan up off of the bed.

"Okay hun, the paperwork is all filled out. We're good to go." Blaine says as he walks into the room.

"Awesome." Kurt replies. "Can you take him and get him into the carrier? I need to pack up the diaper bag."

"Sure," Blaine says, walking over to his husband. Kurt gently places Ryan into Blaine's arms. "Hey buddy," He coos walking over to the new blue carrier. He gently places Ryan into the carrier and pulls his arms through the straps to make sure he's secure. Then he takes Ryan's light blue blanket and covers him up. "Okay, all ready to go."

"Alright, the diaper bag is packed and we're good to go." Kurt replies. Blaine nods and grabs onto the handle of the carrier and lifts it off the ground. The two boys look at one another before they make their way out of the hospital and into the parking lot. They reach the Navigator and Kurt opens up the back for Blaine to put carrier inside. He places the carrier in its base and makes sure that it is locked in before closing the door. Then, both boys go around to the other side of the car. Kurt gets in the back with Ryan, while Blaine gets into the driver seat. Once they're both strapped in, Blaine puts the car into drive and begins driving home. All the way home, Kurt stares at Ryan who is sleeping peacefully. He can't wait to get him home.

About five minutes later, Blaine pulls into the parking garage of their apartment building. He pulls into a spot and then they get out of the car, grabbing Ryan's carrier and the diaper bag. Hand in hand, they walk inside to their apartment. Once inside, they are greeted by Maggie, their West Highland terrier. "Hi girl!" Blaine says kneeling on the ground to pet her as she tries to lick him. Kurt smiles and carries the carrier into the living room and sets it on the couch.

"Blaine! Bring Maggie in so we can introduce her to Ryan." Kurt yells.

"Okay!" Blaine replies. "Come on Maggie." he calls while shuffling into the living room. Then, Blaine picks up Maggie and carries her over to Kurt and Ryan. "Mags, this is Ryan." Blaine says. He lets Maggie get close enough to smell Ryan, while still being cautious. Maggie however seems to Ryan. Her tail starts to wag and she leans forward to lick Ryan's head. Seeing that Maggie obviously likes Ryan, Blaine sets her on the couch and lets her wander closer. She begins pushing the blanket with her nose.

"Aww she's trying to cover him up." Kurt says with a smile. "Good girl, Maggie. Do you love your new baby brother?"

"We should still introduce him to Binx." Blaine says. "For some reason, I don't think he'll take it as well."

"Yeah, you're right." Kurt agrees. He walks over to the other couch where their black cat, Binx is curled up. This had to be done right. They had gotten Binx first when they moved into the new apartment. Blaine insisted on naming hims Binx because he looked like the cat from "Hocus Pocus", which was one of his all time favorite Halloween movies. When they had brought Maggie home, Binx had hissed and swatted at the poor curious puppy, sending her into the arms of her owners. Kurt reaches down and tries to pick Binx up, but he's just met with anger when the cat hisses, swats his arm and curls back up. "Ouch! Stupid Binx...Well, we should have expected that. He's not a morning person."

"Yeah,that's true. I still have a scar on my arm from him." Blaine agrees. Suddenly, Ryan begins to cry. Kurt takes him out of the carrier and bounces him up and down, trying to sooth him. "He's probably hungry. I'll go make him a bottle." he adds before heading into the kitchen. Once there, Blaine pulls a bottle from the cabinet and fills about half of it with warm water before putting in the formula. Then he fills it up the rest of the way. After making sure it's not too hot, Blaine puts the nipple on the top of it and heads back into the living room. "I'll feed him." he tells Kurt.

"Okay, I'll go and make us some sandwiches for lunch." Kurt adds, as he hands Ryan over to Blaine. Blaine, with his son in his arms, takes a seat on couch and pushes the nipple of the bottle into his mouth. Ryan begins to suck on the bottle happily.

"Easy buddy," Blaine laughs. "It's not going anywhere." However, Ryan still continues to drink the bottle at hyper speed. When Ryan's finished, Blaine holds him up on his shoulder and pats his back softly to burp him. After a little bit, Ryan lets out a little burp and a lot of spit up all over Blaine's shoulder. "Eww, Kurt can you come here?" he calls.

"Sure hun." Kurt replies. He goes into the living room and can't help but laugh. Blaine's shoulder is completely covered in baby vomit.

"This isn't funny." Blaine replies. "Just take him so I can go and change." Kurt nods, still laughing and takes Ryan, wiping the excess spit up off his face. Blaine goes down the hallway into their bedroom and chances his shirt before heading back to the living room. Once there, he realizes that Kurt isn't there. So he goes back down the hallway to Ryan's nursery.

"He pretty much fell asleep as soon as he was in my arms." Kurt replies. "I figured I'd put him down here for a while, so we could eat lunch."

"That's a good idea." Blaine adds, joining his husband at the side of Ryan's cribs. "I can't believe he's home." he adds, cuddling his face into Kurt's shoulder.

"We're finally a family." Kurt whispers with a smile, cuddling into his husband's chest as they stare at their perfect newborn son.


	3. Chapter 2

**This chapter is full of the wonderful, sometimes disgusting, joys of parenthood! Plus a visit from some very excited grandparents! Enjoy and please review! **

_**Friday, March 22, 2024**_

Loud cries echo through the monitor sitting on the bedside table and Kurt wakes up. Ryan is hungry again. Kurt feels Blaine start to move, so he rests his hand on him. "Don't get up honey, you went last time. I've got him." Blaine grunts in conformation and flips over before cuddling further under the covers. As tired as he is, Kurt knows that he has to get up. Blaine was up all night with Ryan the night before. He heaves his body up out of bed and walks down the hallway to the nursery where Ryan is screaming his head off.

"Alright, alright...calm down." Kurt coos. "I'm coming." he adds as he walks to the side of the crib and lifts Ryan out of it. "Shh, shh, shh." he says as he bounces the baby up and down trying to comfort him. "Are you hungry?" he asks. "Let's go make you a bottle." With Ryan in his arms, Kurt walks into the kitchen and fixes a bottle for his hungry son before going into the living room and taking a seat. He cradles Ryan in his arms and gently pushes the bottle into his mouth. "There you go buddy." Kurt coos. "Grammy and Grandpa are coming to meet you today. They're both so excited."

Kurt continues to gaze down at his son until he's finally finished with the bottle. This time, Kurt grabs a burp cloth and drapes it over his shoulder before positioning Ryan on it to burp him. He's not about to make the same mistake Blaine did. Ryan whimpers and Kurt pats him "Come on buddy. You'll feel better when you get it out." Eventually, Ryan lets out a little burp and a little bit of spit up. "There you go baby." he says before moving Ryan back down to his chest and cradling him in his arms. Kurt holds Ryan in his arms for a little while and eventually he falls asleep. He smiles at his baby and then gets up and places him in the swing. They had learned in the past few days that he liked the swing a lot more than he liked his crib.

Now that Ryan was asleep, Kurt knew he could head back to bed, but he just wasn't tired anymore. He grabbed his sketchbook off of the desk and began sketching the outfit he had started earlier. It was cute pair of khaki pants along with a baby sized polo. He had never sketched baby clothes before, but not it was all he wanted to sketch. After graduating from NYADA, Kurt had tried to find a performing job, but nothing was available. So, in response, he turned to his back up plan; fashion; He worked at Vogue full time for a year before realizing that writing about clothes was not what he wanted to be doing. He wanted to be designing his own clothes. That was when Kurt made the hard decision to leave Vogue. Though Isabelle was sad to lose him, she understood when it came to people following their passions. She even got him his next job interview at Calvin Klein. When Kurt went to the interview, he knew it was exactly where he wanted to be and ever since then he's been working there on the men's line.

Feeling his eyes begin to strain, Kurt sets his sketchbook on the floor and stretches out on the couch. He picks the fleece blanket up from the back of the couch and then lays it over himself before he drifting back to sleep. About an hour later, Kurt feels someone touch his forehead. When he opens up his eyes, he sees Blaine giving him a quick kiss. He was already dressed and ready to go.

"Hey sweetie…" Blaine whispers. "I have to go and pick up your parents from the airport. Their flight lands in about an hour."

"Okay…" Kurt mumbles, stretching and trying to wake himself up.

"Was he good last night?" Blaine asks. "Sorry I didn't wake up."

"You were up with him all night two days ago." Kurt said, still not fully awake. "I think it was definitely my turn. And, yeah, he was fine after I fed him. He went back to sleep. He really likes the swing."

"I can see that." Blaine says with a laugh. "Well, I should be going. Wouldn't want your parents to have to wait." he adds before giving Kurt a kiss. Then he heads over to Ryan's swing and kisses him as well. "See you later, buddy. Daddy will be back." Then, Blaine grabs his keys and heads out the door leaving Kurt and Ryan by themselves.

Blaine makes his way to the parking garage and then gets into the Navigator. He puts the car in drive and then begins driving through the streets of New York until he gets to JFK International airport. He goes inside and finds gate J where Burt and Carole's plane is supposed to land. He takes a seat in one of the chairs in the waiting area and takes out his phone to kill some time. He opens the photo app and laughs at the pictures he took before he left. Kurt and Ryan look exactly the same when they're asleep. After, he plays a few games until his in-laws plane finally arrives. Blaine stands up from his seat and walks towards the door. Not too much later, he sees the familiar faces of Carole and Burt Hummel walking through the terminal.

"Blaine!" Burt says excitedly, giving him a hug. "How ya' doin kid? Where's that beautiful grandson of mine?" he asks.

"He's at home with Kurt. We didn't want to risk it with all the germs and stuff." Blaine explains. Then he turns to Carole. "Hi Carole," he adds giving her a hug.

"Hi sweetheart." She replies, hugging him back.

"Do you guys have any luggage that we need to pick up?" Blaine asks.

"Nope." Burt replies. "We're only here for the weekend. We've got everything in our carry-ons."

"Awesome." Blaine replies. "I'm parked right out front in the lot."

"Let's go." Burt says. "I don't want to wait any longer to meet my grandson." Blaine laughs and then leads his in-laws out to the car. He helps them with their bags and then begins driving them back to the apartment. When they get there, Blaine leads them to the apartment and all three of them go inside.

"Kurt! I'm back!" Blaine calls. He hears some shuffling before Kurt appears, Ryan in his arms.

"Dad! Carole! It's so good to see you guys!" Kurt says as he rushes towards them. He pulls Burt into a hug and then Carole.

"Aww Kurt, he's adorable." Carole says. "Can I please hold him?" she asks.

"Sure. Here Ryan, let's go see Grammy." Kurt coos handing the infant over to his stepmother. Carole smiles and gently rocks Ryan in her arms.

"Hello little one." She whispers. "Oh I haven't held a baby this little in so long." she adds, pressing a kiss to Ryan's head.

"Can I have a turn with my grandson?" Burt asks, walking over to Carole. She nods and then places Ryan in his arms. "Kurt, he looks so much like you did as a baby."

"That's what I always think." Blaine interjects. "You have to see these pictures that I took this morning. Kurt and Ryan look exactly alike when they're sleep." He takes out his phone and shows the pictures to Burt and Carole who both smile. After greeting one another, the five of them move into living room and take a seat on the surrounding couches, Burt and Carole still cooing over Ryan.

"So how's parenthood treating both of you?" Burt asks.

"It's good." Both Kurt and Blaine reply at the same time.

"I mean...it's tiring." Kurt interjects, "But we couldn't be happier."

"Is he a good baby?" Carole asks. "When Finn was a baby, I swear I never got a moments peace. He cried relentlessly and spit up constantly."

"For the most part...' Blaine replies. "Sometimes he decides that you know...he doesn't want to sleep, but other than that, he's a good baby."

"You two must be exhausted…." Carole replies.

"No, really we're fine." Kurt says, playing off his exhaustion.

"No come on bud," Burt said. "You and Blaine go and rest for a while. We'll handle Ryan for a few hours."

"No, Dad it's really fine." Kurt says. "You both just got here. We can't expect you to watch him."

"That's what grandparents do!" Burt insists. "Now both of you, go and rest."

"Come on hun, you know we both need it." Blaine says, taking his husband's hand.

"Fine." Kurt agrees. "But just for an hour." Blaine takes his hand and then leads his husband away from his parents and their son, dragging him to the bedroom. Kurt flops down onto the bed and Blaine does the same cuddling into Kurt's side. While he lays there, Kurt can't help but think about Ryan.

"Wait...they don't know where his bottles are." Kurt says trying to get up, but Blaine keeps him down.

"They will find them." Blaine tells him, pressing a kiss Kurt's head. "They have both raised children and are more than capable of caring for an infant for an hour. Just go to sleep. We only have one hour."  
>"I can think of something that we can do that would be a lot more fun than sleeping." Kurt says with a smirk."<p>

"Your parents are in the other room." Blaine replies.

"Then I guess we'll have to be very quiet." Kurt says as he pulls himself from under Blaine's body and positions himself on top of his husband. Then, he begins to kiss his husband. "Man am I glad that my parents are here." he says.

"Shut up and keep kissing me." Blaine demands before pulling his husband closer and kissing him passionately.

_**Sunday, March 24, 2024**_

When Kurt and Blaine walk downstairs Sunday morning, they immediately inhale the wonderful aroma of pancakes. Yesterday, it was french toast. It was amazing having Burt and Carole there. Sadly, today was their last day in New York because Burt had to get back to the garage. "It smells amazing, Carole!" Kurt says when he gets into the kitchen.

"Thank you." Carole replies. "I thought you boys would like it." Suddenly Ryan, who had once again slept in his swing, starts to cry. "Ooh let me get him." She squeals, before walking into the living room and lifting the infant from the swing. "Are you hungry sweetheart?" she coos.

"There's a bottle in the living room from earlier that he didn't finish." Kurt calls. Carole, hearing Kurt's statement, looks to the bedside table and picks up the bottle before heading back into the kitchen. Blaine has already taken over preparing the pancakes, so she takes a seat at the kitchen table and puts the bottle into Ryan's mouth.

"It's sad that you and Dad are leaving so soon." Kurt says, while he grabs the materials needed for pancakes. "It's been so nice having you both here."

"Yeah, We'll both miss you guys." Carole replies. "especially this little one….who has just about finished his bottle and needs to be burped." Taking the bottle from Ryan's mouth, she shifts up to her shoulder and gently packs his back. Ryan eventually lets out a stream of formula all over Carole's shoulder.

"Oh Ryan…" Kurt panics, rushing over to Carole and taking Ryan from her arms. "Carole, I'm so sorry." he begins.

"Don't apologize honey." Carole laughs. "I'm a mother. I've been spit up on before. I've even been really thrown up on...by Finn and by you actually."

"Oh really," Blaine says. "I don't think I've heard that story." He adds scooping the pancakes to the plate.

"You don't want to." Kurt replies, trying to clean Ryan up.

"I won't tell it if Kurt doesn't want me to." Carole says, but Burt is right there to intervene.

"Then I guess it's my job to tell it." Burt replies. "Or I have a bunch of other ones, like the one when Kurt was a baby. He was about nine months old and had caught an awful stomach virus.

"Dad, please, don't." Kurt begs.

"Oh come on," Burt says. "This is funny, now that I look back on it. Anyway, Kurt had a really bad stomach virus. We- and by we I mean Lizzie, Kurt's mom, were changing that kid's diapers every ten minutes. It wasn't long before she caught that awful bug too. So, that meant that it was up to me to take care of both of them. I remember I was holding Kurt and he was finally feeling a little bit better. I was holding him up over my head and making him laugh. He had the cutest smile as a baby. Before I even knew what hit me….kid threw up right into my mouth."

"Eww that's disgusting." Blaine laughs and Kurt blushes.

"Come on." Kurt defends. "I was nine months old and I was sick!"

"Calm down, hun." Blaine says. "I get it….I'd still like to hear that story Carole was talking about though…"

"Don't even think about it." Kurt snaps. "Let's just eat pancakes." he adds, earning a laugh from the other three adults in the room. After finishing their pancakes, Burt and Carole pack up their stuff. There flight leaves in about two hours so they have to get going.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you guys to the airport?" Blaine asks.

"No, no, we're fine." Burt insists. "A cab ride isn't going to kill us."

"Okay, if you're sure." he replies. "It was so nice seeing both of you." he adds giving his in-laws a hug. They exchange hugs and goodbyes before Burt and Carole finally leave. Then it's just the three of them once again. They spend the rest of the day lounging around the house, cuddled on the sofa watching movies. Then, it starts getting late.

"I know he's probably going to hate us...but I think it's time for this stinky little boy to get a bath." Blaine says. Kurt nods knowing that Blaine is right.

"He's really going to be unhappy." Kurt adds, knowing how much Ryan hates taking baths, especially because they still have to give it to him in the sink because of his cord. The two boys get off of the couch and Blaine goes to grab all the things needed for a bath while Kurt undresses Ryan, who begins to scream as if he knows what's coming. "I know, I know. This is so unfair right." Kurt coos, cradling his son.

"The bath is ready." Blaine says while testing the water one last time to make sure it's not too hot. Kurt hands Ryan over to Blaine who dips him into the water and begins to wash him with a washcloth.

"Shh, shh baby. I promise we're almost done." Blaine assures his screaming son. "Kurt can you grab his ducky towel." Kurt nods and heads into the bathroom. When he returns, Blaine plops Ryan into Kurt's arms for him to dry. "I'm going to go and grab some jammies for this little man.' Blaine replies with a smile. Kurt continues to dry Ryan off.

"Look at you all clean." Kurt says with a smile. Suddenly he hears a very disgusting sound and feels something run down his shirt. "Oh my God…" he says, completely disgusted. Blaine comes back into the room and sees Kurt, his mouth gaped open.

"What? What is it?" What's wrong?" Blaine asks.

"H-he pooped on me…" Kurt practically screams. Blaine can't even keep his composure. He bursts into laughter, truly bending at the waist. "This isn't funny!" Kurt insists. "Come take your son!" Blaine walks over and barely avoiding the poop lifts Ryan from Kurt's arms. Then, he watches as his husband storms off. Blaine, who is still laughing, puts Ryan back in the bath and cleans him off.

"That wasn't very nice." Blaine laughs. "Your Papa is really mad. And how come you're my son when you do something bad and his when you're being cute?" After finishing the bath, Blaine dries Ryan off and puts a new diaper on him. Then he pulls on the pair of light green pajamas he found in Ryan's nursery. "I think it's time for you to head to bed." he adds. Blaine walks into the nursery and takes a seat in the rocking chair in the corner. He stares at his beautiful son and then begins to sing…

_Christopher Robin and I walked along_

_Under branches lit up by the moon_

_Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore_

_As our days disappeared all too soon_

_But I've wandered much further today than I should_

_And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood_

_So help me if you can_

_I've got to get back_

_To the House at Pooh Corner by one_

_You'd be surprised_

_There's so much to be done_

_Count all the bees in the hive_

_Chase all the clouds from the sky_

_Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh_

While he's singing, Kurt comes into the room in fresh pajamas. He smiles at his son and husband before starting to sing.

_Winnie the Pooh doesn't know what to do_

_Got a honey jar stuck on his nose_

_He came to me asking help and advice_

_From here no one knows where he goes_

_So I sent him to ask of the Owl if he's there_

_How to loosen a jar from the nose of a bear_

_Help me if you can_

_I've got to get back_

_To the House at Pooh Corner by one_

_You'd be surprised_

_There's so much to be done_

_Count all the bees in the hive_

_Chase all the clouds from the sky_

_Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh_

Not being able to resist the temptation, Blaine starts to sing along with his husband while Ryan drifts off to sleep.

_It's hard to explain how a few precious things_

_Seem to follow throughout all our lives_

_After all's said and done I was watching my son_

_Sleeping there with my bear by his side_

_So I tucked him in, I kissed him and as I was going_

_I swear that the old bear whispered "Boy welcome home"_

_Believe me if you can_

_I've finally come back_

_To the House at Pooh Corner by one_

_What do you know_

_There's so much to be done_

_Count all the bees in the hive_

_Chase all the clouds from the sky_

_Back to the days of Christopher Robin_

_Back to the ways of Christopher Robin_

_Back to the days of Pooh_

As they finish the song, Blaine stands up from the rocking chair and walks towards Ryan's crib. Blaine carefully sets him down in the crib, before taking a step back and pressing himself to Kurt's chest. "He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping; like a little angel."

"Well that little angel is going to be screaming in about three hours, so I suggest that we go and get some sleep while we can." Kurt replies, before taking Blaine's hand and leading him down the hallway and into their bedroom.


	4. Chapter 3

**_Interested in what career Blaine decided to pursue...find out in this chapter. Enjoy and please review!_**

_**Friday, April 26, 2024**_

It was a beautiful spring day in April and that meant absolutely one thing; A picnic in the park. Kurt was in the kitchen preparing a picnic lunch while Blaine was in the nursery getting Ryan ready to head out. The little boy was, luckily, extremely happy today and cooed at his father. "Oh you're so happy today!" Blaine laughed as he finished taping Ryan's diaper closed. Then he grabbed the tiny pair of cargo and pants and slipped them over his son's hips. After, he grabbed the small red t-shirt and carefully slipped it over Ryan's head. Lastly, he took the new denim jacket that Kurt had just bought and slipped it over Ryan's arms.

Seeing that Ryan was all dressed, Blaine lifted him from the changing table and grabbed the new carrier that they had bought. He strapped it on to himself and then slipped Ryan into it. He seemed to like it, being pressed against his father's chest. Blaine smiled before walking into the kitchen to find Kurt finishing up packing lunch. "We're both all ready to go." Blaine said. Kurt turned around and immediately a smile formed on his face.

"That is the cutest thing I have ever seen.' Kurt exclaimed. "I have to get a picture of this." He quickly took out his phone and held it up so Blaine and Ryan we in view. "Say cheese!"

"Cheese!" Blaine replied, turning his body to the side to get Ryan's face in the picture. "Okay, Mr. Photographer. Are we all ready to go?"

"Yes, lunch is packed and so is the diaper bag." Kurt told him. "So, we're all ready to go." Kurt grabbed both bags and then got the stroller before the three of them headed out. They went to the elevator and went downstairs, then out of the lobby onto the New York streets. They walked hand in hand until they got to Central park. They walked over to the shade under a large tree and set the stroller and the two bags down.

"I want to take him on the playground." Blaine replied with a big smile.

"You're a bigger kid than he is." Kurt laughed. "But, go I want cute pictures." Blaine smiled and walked over to the playground. He climbed up the steps and then sat down at the top of a large yellow slide. "Ready?" He called to Kurt. Kurt nodded, holding his phone up. "Okay, then here we go!" Blaine called as he slide down the slide with Ryan pressed to his chest, Kurt taking pictures to the side. After, they headed to the swings and Kurt and Blaine with Ryan pressed against him, slowly swang next to each other enjoying the day.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starving." Kurt replied later.

"I'm pretty hungry too." Blaine replied, standing up from the swing. Then, as if on cue, Ryan began to cry. "...and I guess this little man is too." The three of them walked over to the stroller and Kurt laid out a white and red checkered blanket. Blaine took a seat and then unstrapped Ryan from his chest.

"I'll feed him," Kurt offered. "You get lunch out." Blaine nodded and handed Ryan over to Kurt who already had his bottle in hand. Then he moved to the picnic basket and grabbed the two sandwiches and fruit salad Kurt had prepared. He handed his husband his and then started on his own. Kurt laughed as Ryan furiously sucked down the formula in the bottle.

"We're in trouble when he gets bigger." Kurt said. "We're going to be paying an arm and a leg for food."

"Cooper and I were like that." Blaine replied. "I think our parents spent more on food than they did on anything else...and that's saying something because they had very expensive taste."

"Speaking about money….are you sure you have to have to go back to work tomorrow?" Kurt asked.

"It's only on weekends." Blaine replied. "The restaurant is short staffed because David quit." he explained. Blaine had decided to become a chef halfway through his sophomore year at NYADA. He had broken down and told Kurt that performing just wasn't what he wanted to do anymore. But, Kurt had stuck by him and promised him that he would find something that made him truly happy. Luckily, in that time, he did. He started cooking and realized how much he loved it. It was then that discovered that he wanted to go to culinary school. He graduated top of his class and then got an amazing job a fancy restaurant known as "The Palm" where he still works.

"Ryan and I are going to miss having you with us." Kurt replied.

"Oh yeah, he looks so thrilled to have me here." Blaine laughed,looking over to his son who had fallen asleep, bottle hanging from his mouth.

"Well, he is." Kurt replies. "I do think that it might be time to head home though and get our sleepy baby to bed." he added. Blaine nodded and gathered up their things as Kurt slipped Ryan into the stroller. Then, they began their walk, hand in hand, as they went home.

**Saturday, April 26, 2024**

The next morning, Kurt woke up early to the sounds of Ryan crying. It was definitely his new diaper cry. He got up quickly hoping not to wake his husband who had work that day. Kurt walked into the nursery and gently picked Ryan up, bouncing him in an attempt to soothe him, before placing him on the changing table. "Okay, okay, I'm working on it." Kurt replied. He took off Ryan's diaper and deposited it in the container they had just for diapers. Then, he grabbed a new one and positioned it on his son's body before pulling his pajamas back on. "There we go." Kurt cooed. "All better, huh?"

Ryan made little gurgling sounds up at his father and Kurt smiled. Knowing his son never actually went back to sleep, he walked into the kitchen and placed Ryan in his swing while he started on breakfast. He started on waffles and even made toast too. Blaine always had a strange craving for toast in the morning. He worked on those and around six, they were finished. He brought them to the table and grabbed Ryan for his morning feeding. Then, just as he was about to wake up Blaine for breakfast, his husband flew out of the bedroom. "Hey I was just coming to get you." Kurt said.

"I'm late. I'm so late." Blaine panicked.

"I thought you didn't have to work until noon." Kurt replied.

"Boss called late last night. He needs me to work earlier." Blaine replied. "This wasn't how I wanted to start back at work."

"Well here, eat something quickly." Kurt suggested.

"No, no I can't." Blaine panicked.

"Here, just a piece of toast." Kurt replied, taking a slice of toast into his husband's mouth.

"Thanks." Blaine replied, taking a bite. "I love you." he added pressing a kiss to his husband's lips and then his son's. "I really have to go." he added, grabbing his bag and then practically running out of the door.

"I forgot how crazy your daddy can be." Kurt laughed as he fed Ryan. The two of them spent the day lounging around the house. Kurt even got some time to work on some sketches when Ryan took a nap. Eventually, Kurt ended up falling asleep on the couch, Ryan on his chest. That was the adorable sight Blaine saw when he finally came home from the restaurant. He quickly snapped a picture and then went to work to get them both in bed. He took Ryan first and set him in his crib. Luckily, some higher being must have been watching, because he stayed asleep. Then Blaine went back into living room and lifted his husband off of the couch and walked towards their bedroom.

" 'laine?" he mumbled.

"Shh, go back to sleep." Blaine replied as he set Kurt on the bed.

"How was work?" Kurt asked sleepily.

"It was good." Blaine told him. "Now, shh, go back to sleep." Kurt nodded and burrowed down underneath the covers as he drifted back to sleep. Blaine smiled, changed into his pajamas and then laid down next to his husband. It was good to be home.


	5. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took me so long to update, life got crazy! But, enjoy and please review. **

**warning: tissues may come in handy.**

**Monday, May 31, 2024**

When the airplane finally touched down on the runway, Rachel couldn't believe she was back in New York. LA was amazing, but she missed the streets of New York. After hearing about little Ryan's birth, Rachel figured it couldn't be a more perfect time to head back to New York. She stepped off the terminal, her carry-on in hand before heading over to baggage claim. She waited a moment before the conveyor belt started to move and suitcases began passing her by. Seeing her red suitcase, Rachel picked it up and then set it down of the ground. After clicking the button and pulling up the plastic black handle, Rachel made her way towards the exit. She hailed a taxi and told the driver Kurt and Blaine's address before speeding off through the streets. About twenty minutes later, Rachel arrived in front of their apartment building. She paid the cab driver and then went into the building, heading immediately for the elevator. Hitting the number seven button, the elevator began to move until it finally stopped on the seventh floor and the metal doors parted. Rachel, a smile on her face, stepped out and headed down the hallway to her friends' apartment. She knocked quietly, hoping not to wake Ryan if he was sleeping.

The large wooden door opened and revealed Kurt's face. "Rach! You're here!" he said excitedly, flinging himself into his friends arms.

"Oh, it's so good to see you." She exclaimed. "Where's that baby? I'm dying to meet him.'

"He's in the kitchen with Blaine." Kurt explained, leading his friend inside. Together they walked into the kitchen where Blaine was sitting at the table, Ryan in his arms, sucking on a bottle.

"Hi Rachel!" Blaine said happily. Seeing as Ryan was still drinking, he didn't get up.

"Oh my god, guys, he is precious." Rachel said, her smile beaming as she stared down at the little boy sucking on his bottle.

"Thank you." Both Kurt and Blaine replied.

"He's almost finished." Blaine told her. "As soon as I burp him, you can hold him. He tends to spit up, so I wouldn't want him do that on you." he explained.

"Yeah, that would be awesome." Rachel replied. "I actually have some presents for him."

"Rach, you didn't have to do that." Kurt told her.

"Oh hush, yes I did." She replied, digging through her carry on. She brought out a bag and handed it to Kurt, who opened it immediately. Inside was a onesie with a large golden star that proudly stated, "I'm the star of the family!" along with a pack of pacifiers with different broadway shows on them.

"Where did you even find Broadway pacifiers?" Kurt laughed, showing them to Blaine.

"You'd be surprised what you can find on amazon when your binge shopping at two in the morning." She giggled.

"Well, they're adorable, Rach." Blaine replied. "This little guy is ready to meet his Auntie if you are."

"Definitely." She exclaimed. Blaine walked over to her and placed the little boy in her arms. Instantly, Rachel fell in love. Ryan blinked his crystal blue eyes up and her and even looked like he was smiling. "Hello, sweet baby. It's your Auntie Rachel." she cooed, nestling Ryan further into her chest.

"Why don't we head into the living room and sit down?" Blaine offered and Kurt and Rachel nodded their heads in reply. They walked into the living room and took a seat on the surrounding sofas. "So Rach, how's LA?" Blaine asked.

"It's great." She replied. "I love being so close to the beach and my show is doing really well, but I do actually miss the city. I was actually thinking out staying around for a few weeks since my show is on hiatus."

"That's great.' Kurt replied. "It would be wonderful having you around."

"Yeah, I'll probably go check into the Hilton or something." She added.

"No way," Blaine replied.

"Yeah, no way are we letting you go to a hotel." Kurt added. "The sofa folds out and it's extremely comfortable. Please, stay with us."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked. "You have Ryan...I wouldn't want to intrude."

"Please, having you here will be great." Blaine replied. "...and it'll give Ryan more time with his Auntie Rachel."

"Okay, if you guys are really sure." She replied with a smile. "I'd love to stay here." she added before looking down at the beautiful baby in her arms.

**Saturday, June 8, 2024**

It had been about a week since Rachel began staying with them and it had gone over very well. She took care of Ryan during the day which gave Kurt and Blaine a much needed break and allowed them to not feel like zombies when they took care of Ryan during the night. Since it was a Saturday, Blaine was already gone and at work when Kurt woke up to take care of Ryan for his late feeding. He groaned as he got up and pushed himself out of bed before making his way down the hallway to Ryan;s nursery. The little boy was screaming in his crib. "Shh, shh shh, Papa's here." Kurt said picking him up and bouncing him in his arms. Still, Ryan continued to scream. "Are you hungry?" he cooed. "Let's go get your bottle." He walked into the kitchen and began to warm up a bottle. Rachel, who was sleeping in the living room, woke up and groaned.

"He's cranky this morning." She murmured, loud enough for Kurt to hear.

"Yeah, I don't know what's wrong." Kurt replied. "Can you come take him for a minute?" he asked. Rachel nodded and got out of bed, before heading into the kitchen. She took Ryan from Kurt's arms and tried bouncing Ryan up and down as he cried. Kurt finished warming the bottle and then took Ryan back. He tried to feed the little boy, but he just didn't want the bottle.

"Do you think he's sick?" Rachel asked.

"No, he gets like this sometimes." Kurt confessed. "Blaine is normally better at handling him when he's really fussy than I am. Sometimes the carrier helps though." he added as he made his way into the living room. He gently set Ryan on the couch as he attached the carrier to his chest. Then, he picked the baby up from the couch and settled him in the carrier against his chest. Ryan seemed to like that position because he stopped crying. "There we go buddy. I know I'm not Daddy, but i'll have to do." For the rest of the morning, Kurt, Rachel and Ryan hung out and louged around watching TV. Kurt finally got Ryan to eat as well. Then around noon, he put Ryan down for a nap in his crib. Going back downstairs, he noticed Rachel by the window and she looked upset.

"You okay?" he asked. Rachel nodded, but not very convincingly. "Come on." He coaxed. "I know you. Spill. What's wrong?" Rachel sighed and looked at her friend, tears in her eyes.

"I don't want to go back to LA." She confessed.

"What? But you've lived there for years." Kurt replied.

"Yes and I'm tired of it." Rachel told him. "I'm so lonely Kurt. I have friends, but none like you and Blaine, none I really trust."

"But, what about your show?" Kurt asked.

"It's not really on hiatus." She replied. "It's going to be cancelled. Then I won't even have job...I won't have anything left." she cried, leaning into Kurt's chest.

"Shh, honey, it's going to be okay." Kurt said, comforting her. "If you really feel that way, then come and live in New York. You're already staying here and we'll help you find an apartment."

"Really?" she asked, sniffling.

"Of course." Kurt replied. "Now come on, Ryan's asleep so I'd say it's a perfect time to watch a movie. I'm feeling "Sound of Music." What do you think?" Kurt asked.

"I think that sounds good." Rachel replied, wiping her tears as Kurt popped in the DVD. Then they sat cuddled on the couch together as the Von Trapps sang on the TV. After the movie was over, Kurt sat up and stretched.

"It's weird that Ryan's not up yet." Kurt said in observation. "I should go get him or he'll never sleep tonight." Rachel nodded as Kurt made his way into the nursery. He smiled when he saw that Ryan had flipped himself onto his stomach. "Okay little boy, time to wake up." he said in a sing songy voice as he moved towards Ryan's crib. He reached down to try and pick the baby up, but when he first touched Ryan, Kurt knew something was wrong. He flipped Ryan over and Kurt felt like he couldn't breathe. Ryan's face was pale and his lips blue, lacking oxygen."Rachel! Rachel!" Kurt screamed, before starting CPR on Ryan.

"Kurt, what is it? What's wrong?" Rachel asked coming into the nursery.

"Ryan's not breathing!" Kurt screamed and Rachel came running over.

"Kurt, let me do that!" Rachel said. "Go call 911" Kurt, wiping his tears, nodded as he moved so Rachel could do CPR. Kurt grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911.

"Yes, I need help. My son, he's- he's not breathing." Kurt said into the phone.

"Okay sir." the respondent replied. "Help will be there soon." After, Kurt hung up and frantically dialed Blaine's number.

"Hey baby." Blaine said, answering his phone. "What's up?"

"Something's wrong with Ryan." Kurt sobbed through the phone. "He's not breathing!"

"What? Kurt-" Blaine began.

"Just get home. I have to go." Kurt cried, before hanging up and going back over to Rachel, who had stopped doing CPR. "W-why did you stop?" he screamed.

"Kurt-he…" Rachel began.

"No, he's not gone." Kurt screamed angrily. "Move!" he demanded as he started doing CPR on Ryan again. Rachel didn't have the heart to tell him to stop, so she stood back and waited for the paramedics to arrive. When they did, Rachel let them in and led them to the nursery. She gently placed her arms around Kurt and pulled him back, so the paramedics could work. Kurt stared as they went to work on Ryan, but it was already too late. Ryan was gone.

"Time of death 1:42." the paramedic stated and Kurt felt his breath leave his body. He broke from Rachel's arms and booked it to the bathroom where he fell in front of toilet and threw up violently. Rachel followed him and crouched behind him as he rubbed Kurt's back. This couldn't be happened...

After Kurt's phone call, Blaine left work and got home as fast as he could. When he got to the apartment, there was an ambulance and a few cop cars in the front of the building. Blaine parked and then went up to the apartment as quickly as he can. When he got there, he realized the door was already open and there were cops and yellow tape everywhere. It looked like a crime scene. Blaine walked inside and went directly to the nursery. On the floor was a tiny little body covered with a blanket "Whoa, you can't go in there." one paramedic told him.

"That's my baby!" Blaine screamed trying to push past the man. ""I have to get to my son!" Still, the paramedic didn't let him though. Rachel, who saw Blaine come in, walked over to him and wrapped her arms around her friend.

"Rachel, Ryan is…" Blaine began.

"He's gone honey." Rachel told him. "I'm so sorry." Suddenly, Blaine's knees gave out and he fell to the floor as he began to sob. Rachel holds him, knowing absolutely nothing she can say will fix this. After about ten minutes, Rachel helped Blaine into the living room and the paramedics took Ryan to the hospital to perform an autopsy.

"Where is he going?" Blaine sobbed.

"They have to take him to the hospital for an autopsy." the cop explained. "Mr. Anderson-Hummel we have to ask you a few questions."

"About what?" Blaine cried. "My son just died. I don't even understand why you're here."

"Mr. Anderson-Hummel, has your husband ever done anything cruel to your baby? Or done anything that would make you think he did this to your son?" the cop asked.

"What? No!" Blaine sobbed. "Kurt loves Ryan more than anything. He wouldn't do anything. And, he's right there! Why not just ask him?"

"He's refused to talk so far." the cop replied. Blaine looks to his husband who is sitting on the opposite couch. Kurt's face is blank, emotionless. He made no eye contact with anyone, just simply staring off into the distance instead.

"I was there." Rachel replied. "Kurt didn't do anything. We were watching a movie all afternoon." she explained.

"While I want to believe your story miss, we can't assume anything without the medical evidence, so for now we'll just have to wait." the cop told them. The waited for hours. Blaine sobbed into Rachel's chest as Kurt continued to stare. Until, finally there was a call. The cop picked it up and talked for a few minutes before hanging up. With a sad look on his face, he moved towards Kurt and Blaine.

"Mr. and Mr. Anderson-Hummel, I am so sorry." he began. "Your son's autopsy was clean."

"I don't understand. If it was clean, then how did he die?" Blaine asked, still crying.

"The doctor's believe it was SIDS. It's called Sudden Infant Death Syndrome." the cop explained. "They don't know why it happens and it's no one's fault. It happened to my sister's baby girl and I know how awful it is. I'm truly sorry that this happened to the both of you. If you'd like, I'll drive all three of you to the hospital. I think you should see your son." Blaine nodded his head, not being about to form any words. The cop nodded and then escorted them to the cop car before driving to the hospital. When they got there, a doctor was waiting and took them to a room where Ryan was lying in a bassinet, swaddled in a blanket. Blaine went in immediately and picked up his son. He cradles him to his chest and sobs, "My baby…" over and over again. Rachel, after making sure Kurt was okay, went to call Burt and Carole as well as Cooper. Out in the hallway, Kurt refused to go inside the room. He just couldn't bare to look at Ryan like that. Instead, he slumped to the ground against the wall, still not crying...completely and utterly emotionless.


	6. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Here's the next update! It's the super bowl here in the USA, but of course I'm not watch lol. I'm writing! Anyway Enjoy and please please please review!**

**Thursday, June 13, 2024**

It had been five long miserable days since Ryan died and Kurt and Blaine were a mess. Burt and Carole had arrived the day after Ryan's death and ever since, Blaine had been inconsolable as he laid on the couch silently crying. Carole spent much of her time holding his head on her lap and whispering comforting words to him. But, today is the funeral so they had to put on their brave faces. Blaine was dressed in his suit, his eulogy tucked in the pocket, trying to eat a slice of toast. He was virtually ready to go, but Kurt on the other hand was not.

Rachel had been taking care of him for the past few days and still he hadn't spoken a word. He just lay in bed, staring off into the distance when he wasn't sleeping. He hadn't eaten either and it was easy to tell that he had lost weight. "Come on Kurt, you have to try to eat something." Rachel coaxed, holding a slice of toast on a plate. "Just take two bites." Kurt didn't respond and Rachel sighed, setting it to the side. "Honey, please. You have to eat something. You're withering away." Kurt, once again, didn't reply. Rachel stood up from the bed and walked into the living room.

"Did he eat anything?" Burt asked. Rachel shook her head no.

"I tried, but he won't." She replied. "He needs to get dressed for the funeral, but I just don't have the heart to go back in there."

"I'll go." Burt replied, standing up from couch. He walked down the hallway and into the bedroom where Kurt was lying in the bed completely still. "Come on bud, It's time to get ready." he said softly. He walked to the closet and grabbed Kurt's pressed suit and laid it gently on the bed. Burt pulled back the covers and helped his son stand up before helping him pull on the suit, like he did when Kurt was a little boy. When he was finished, he wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist and helped him walk from the bedroom to the living room where Rachel, Carole and Blaine were waiting. Silently, they made their way out to the car and got in to go the funeral. The ride over was silent as well. There just wasn't much to say. Nothing could console the hearts of the two boys in the back of the car.

When they pulled into the front of the funeral home, Carole, Rachel, Burt and Blaine got out of the car. Blaine leaned against Carole's body as they made their way inside. Rachel waited for Kurt to get out, but his door never opened. Rachel sighed and opened it. "Come on honey, it's time to go inside. I won't leave your side, I promise." she coaxed before leaning in to unclip Kurt's seatbelt. But when she did, Kurt slapped her hand and held on frantically to the car. "Okay, you don't have to go." she replied, seeing how upset he was. "I'll stay here with you." Rachel added before climbing into the car and holding her best friend.

Inside, Blaine walked in with Carole. He immediately looked away when he saw the tiny white casket at the front of the room. Many of the New Directions were already there. Mercedes came up to him and pulled him into a hug. "I am so sorry for your loss, honey." She said.

"Thank you." Blaine replied, his eyes filling with tears. After that the rest of his former classmates came up to say their respects. Blaine replied respectfully, but all he could think about was wanting to see Kurt. It had only taken him minutes to realize that his husband hadn't come into the funeral home. When the viewing was over, Blaine let out a sigh of relief. They got back in the car and drove to the cemetery where a large white tent was set up. They made their way through the green grass until they were under the tent. This time, Kurt decided to leave the car.

When everyone was seat, Blaine got up from his chair and walked towards the podium in the front of the space. He pulled out a crumpled white piece of paper and unfolded it. "My son, Ryan, was taken from this world way too soon. When I think of my sweet little Ryan Caleb, I think of his adorable toothless smile.,T-the way he would cuddle against my chest and look so peaceful when he was sleeping." he began, tears falling from his eyes. "Anyway...In my lifetime, I've experienced my fair share of death. I've lost family, friends, and a wonderful brother in law that I know would have loved Ryan more than Kurt and I combined. But, I know that he's taking care of our baby now." Blaine started sobbing, deep sorrow filled sobs, and it was evident that he wasn't going to be able to move on. Cooper, who had flown in for the funeral, made his way up to the podium and wrapped his arms around his brother, while he sobbed. After, he led Blaine back to his seat.

Seeing as no one else knew what to the say, the ceremony ended pretty quickly. Kurt waited for everyone everyone to leave before he stood up from his seat. He walked towards the tiny white casket and pulled a tiny blue blanket from his pocket. He held it up to his nose and breathed in Ryan's scent, before laying it out of top of the coffin. He stated for a fear more seconds, a single tear falling out of his eye. And, that was that. All that was left to do was go home…

**Friday, June 28, 2024**

"You're sure you can handle him?" Rachel asked, her suitcase in hand. "I can push my flight and stay a few more days, see if he gets better."

"Yes, I'm sure." Blaine replied. "It's not like I've got anything else going on and you have to go and get your stuff so you can move into your new apartment."

"But-" She began.

"No, buts." Blaine replied. "We'll be fine. Thank you for everything Rach. Really, we never could have gotten through the past few weeks without you." he added, pulling Rachel into a hug.

"I love you guys." Rachel replied. "Well, I'm going to go. Call me if anything happens."

"I will." Blaine assured her, practically forcing her out of the door. He loved Rachel, but Blaine had been itching to have some time with just him and Kurt. After closing the door, Blaine walked into the living room where Kurt was lying on the couch, a blanket over his body. Just the fact that he left the bedroom was progress. He walked over to his husband and took a seat on the edge of the couch. "So, are we up to some food today?" he asked softly, playing with Kurt's hair. Kurt doesn't respond and Blaine sighs. "Well, if you're not going to eat, you're going to bathe. It's way overdue." he added before slipping his arms under Kurt's body and picking him up. Hugging Kurt close to his chest, Blaine walked to the bathroom and set Kurt down on the toilet before reaching into the bathtub and turning on the hot water. While the water was running, Blaine helped Kurt take off his clothing. "Lift your arms up please." Blaine told him and Kurt did as he was told. Blaine pulled Kurt's shirt off and then helped him with his pants. Giving him a hand, he helped Kurt into the tub where he took a seat.

"Do you want help?" Blaine asked. Kurt looked up and nodded; the first reply he had actually made since Ryan died. Blaine gave him a smile and then grabbed a washcloth. He put some soap on it and gently rubbed it on Kurt's skin. "Does this feel good?" he asked and Kurt nodded. "If you're up for it, we can watch a movie tonight." He offered. "I'll even let you pick it." he added before moving on to shampoo. He squirted some into his hand and then created a lather as he massaged it into Kurt's scalp, before washing it off. He let Kurt soak in the tub for a bit before holding up a towel. "Ready to get out?" he asked. Kurt nodded and stood up, stepped out of the tub and walked into Blaine's embrace as he wrapped him in a towel.

"Okay, let's get you dried off and then we'll go and watch that movie, huh?" Blaine told him with a smile. Kurt smiled back and moved towards the door of the bathroom. As he opened the door, something fell from the back of the towel rack and Kurt stopped. He bent down and picked up the yellow, ducky towel and hugged it to his chest. He turned to Blaine, his eyes filled with tear and just muttered one word, "Ryan" before falling it Blaine's embrace.

"He's really gone." Kurt cried into Blaine's shoulders. "He's dead, He's dead." he sobbed. Blaine held Kurt in his arms, tearing up himself.

"I know." Blaine said. "I know." he said again, not knowing what else to possibly say.


	7. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated sooner. Life has been crazy! But I found some time to update. Enjoy!**

**Thursday, July 6, 2024**

Ever since Kurt's breakdown in the bathroom, he had slowly been healing. He was able to get up out of bed and was talking again, but eating was still a challenge. He tried to eat, but each time he did, his stomach just couldn't handle it.

Blaine was doing okay as well...or he was putting on a good show. "Hey honey," Blaine said as he came into the kitchen that morning."

"Hi," Kurt replied from his place at the table where an uneaten piece of toast sat on a plate. "Where are you going?" he asked, looking Blaine up and down.

"The gym." Blaine told him. "I haven't worked out in a while and I have some free time today."

"That's a good idea." Kurt replied. "Have a good time." he added, giving Blaine a kiss on the cheek. After, Blaine picked up his gym bag and headed out the apartment. Kurt was left alone at the table, just the him...and the piece of toast. "I can do this." he told himself, hesitantly picking the slice of toast up. He took a bite and then swallowed. He took a deep breath and when he didn't feel sick, Kurt was optimistic that he could finish his breakfast. He took his time eating the toast and then dusted the crumbs of his hands when finished. He sat at the table for a moment before feeling his stomach gurgle in protest. That was definitely a bad idea. Kurt clapped a hand over his mouth and ran into the bathroom, throwing himself on the floor to vomit out his breakfast. He heaved for a few minutes before leaning back against the tub and letting out a deep breath. This whole not eating thing was getting really old.

At the gym, Blaine was just beginning his workout. He liked to run on the treadmills and occasionally decided to lift, but today was not one of those days. He pulled on his trusty boxing gloves and wrapped up his hands before heading over to the red punching bag. He started throwing strong punches, doing different combinations.

Usually boxing cleared his mind, but now Blaine could only think of Ryan and how he would have liked to share this with his son. He punched harder getting angrier with each punch. Why did his son have to die? After all the horrible things in his life, who decided that taking his son for no good reason was okay? Realizing that boxing with the gloves wasn't taking his anger away, Blaine ripped off the gloves and the wrap around each hand. Then, he proceeded to punch harder against the thick red leather. It felt good...but painful. At this point any sort of feeling was better than being numb like he usually felt. After a while, Blaine finally broke from his trance and stopped punching. He looked down at his hands and saw that they were littered with bruises and cuts. He sighed, knowing he'd gone to far.

Blaine packed up his things, wincing in pain, before heading home. When he got there, he found Kurt lying on the couch watching television. "Hey hun, how was your workout?" he asked.

"It was okay." Blaine lied, trying to hide his hands. Kurt, who was very good at knowing when something was wrong with his husband, got up from the couch and walked over to him.

"Let me see your hands, B.' Kurt said softly. Blaine hesitated for a moment before showing his hands to his husband. "Oh honey," Kurt cooed. "Let's get you fixed up." he added before leading Blaine into the bathroom. Once there, Blaine took a seat on the edge of the tub and waited as Kurt prepared the bandages for his hand. "This is going to sting." Kurt warned him, pressing a cloth soaked in peroxide to Blaine's knuckles. " It looks like these two knuckles are jammed, but not broken. And, I'm sorry, I know this hurts." Kurt replied, seeing Blaine hiss in pain.

"I-I just wanted to feel something." Blaine replied quietly.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"Ever since Ryan died, I-I just feel numb. I wanted to feel something, even if it was pain." he explained.

"I get it honey." Kurt replied. "And, I promise, we'll get through this...together." Blaine smiled, nodded and leaned into his husband's shoulder. Times were rough, but at least they had each other.

**Wednesday, July 19, 2024**

It's had been a while since Rachel left for LA and now she was back and settled in her new, New York apartment. One of the first things on her to-do list was to go and see Kurt and Blaine. To say she was worried was an understatement. When she left, Blaine was barely hanging on and Kurt was practically comatose. She only hoped that things had improved in her absence.

She hesitantly knocked on the door and waited a few moments before it opened revealing Kurt. "Rachel!" he exclaimed rushing into his friends arms.

"Oh it's so good to see you!" Rachel said, enveloping Kurt into a hug. Just the fact that Kurt was up and talking was great, but Rachel couldn't help but continue to worry when she realized she could feel Kurt's ribs sticking out. After letting Kurt go, Rachel looked to her left and saw Blaine, who she pulled into a hug.

"It's so great to have you back Rach." Blaine replied.

"It's good to be back." She replied with a smile. Together, the three of them, moved into the living room.

"Would you like some tea?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, that would be great. Do you want help?" Rachel asked.

"No, I've got it." Kurt assured her before disappearing into the kitchen.

"So, be honest…" Rachel said, looking to Blaine. "how are you guys?"

"We're hanging in there." Blaine replied. "It's still really hard, but...it's getting better I think. It comes in waves. Some days are okay and others are bad."

"And Kurt, how's he? I see he's talking again. Has he been eating?" Rachel asked, although she was pretty sure she knew the answer.

"He tries." Blaine explained. "Sometimes he can stomach some pretzels, but a lot of time food makes him sick. It's not that he's not trying, his stomach just can't keep anything down." Before Rachel could say anything else, Kurt reappeared in the living room, three cups of tea on a tray. He set it down on the coffee table before taking his seat next to Blaine. They spent the afternoon talking and even watched a movie together. Then at dinner, Rachel insisted on cooking dinner. She made pasta, knowing it was something Kurt should be able to eat.

"It smells great, Rach." Blaine said taking a bite of the pasta.

"Thanks! I found the recipe online." Rachel replied. "What do you think Kurt?" she asked.

"It's really good." Kurt lied as he continues to push the pasta around in the bowl.

"Really, because it looks like you haven't even taken a bite." Rachel replied.

"I guess I'm just not very hungry." Kurt confessed, his cheeks red in embarrassment.

"You have to be." Rachel interjected. "I barely gave you any pasta to begin with. You have to eat something."

"Rachel, don't push him. He doesn't have to eat." Blaine says sternly.

"If you don't push him, who will!" Rachel said. "Kurt, I know you're still grieving, but you can't not eat and let yourself get sick! Just eat!" she demanded shoving a fork towards Kurt's mouth. Kurt, finally letting his anger out, slapped Rachel's hand away and the pasta bowl fell to the floor. Then, Kurt took off from the kitchen and ran down the hallway and barricaded himself in the bedroom.

"Rachel, I know you were just trying to help, but you went too far. I think you should go now." Blaine said angrily.

"Blaine, I was just trying to help." Rachel said.

"Just leave please." Blaine said with a sigh before heading down the hallway where he pounded on the door. "Kurt, honey, open up sweetheart." he called. Rachel sighed before grabbing her purse and then leaving the apartment. She knew she had messed up...big time.


	8. Chapter 7

Friday, August 2, 2024

While time went on, Kurt and Blaine were both still trying to find ways to cope with the loss of Ryan. Kurt, who was still having trouble eating, decided that going back to work was the best thing for him. Throwing himself into things that didn't involve Ryan was just what he needed. Blaine, on the other hand, had hit the angry stage. It started off at the gym and just continued. He was constantly starting trivial fights and didn't want to do anything productive. Not knowing what else to possibly do, Kurt called Sam. If there was anyone who could get through to Blaine, it was Sam…

Blaine laid on the couch, a bag of chips in his hand and a blanket draped over his lower body as he watched trashy daytime television. This was pretty much his daily routine...or it had been for the past few weeks. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. With a confused look on his face Blaine stood up and walked to the front door. He opened it and out in the hallway of the apartment building stood his best friend. "Sam?" he asked.

"Hey dude!" Sam replied, leaning in and pulling Blaine into a hug.

"Not that I'm not glad to see you, but why are you here?" Blaine asked.

"Kurt called me." Sam replied. "He's worried about you..."

"Yeah, well I'm fine.' Blaine replied, anger evident in his voice.

"Well...since I'm here." Sam replied. "I'd like to hang out with my best friend. So, what do you want to do?"

"There's only one thing that I want to do." Blaine replied, grabbing his jacket from the coatrack and wrapping it around his shoulders. "Let's go." He muttered before making his way out of the apartment, Sam on his heels.

"Are you at least going to tell me where we're going?" Sam asked.

"Nope." Blaine replied, not stopping to look behind him. He made his way out of the the apartment building and started down the street. Just down the road sat a bar. Blaine walked up to it and went inside.

"I don't know if this is the best idea." Sam said.

"Well, you wanted to hang out with your best friend and your best friend wants to drink." Blaine replied nastily as he took a seat at the bar. "Two beers." he told the bartender. Sam sighed and took a seat next to Blaine. He knew he couldn't leave Blaine by himself. Blaine took the beer immediately and chugged it down, wincing as he finished it off.

"Whoa, fine. We can drink, just slow down." Sam warned. "All that's joining to happen is you getting drunk. It's not going to take away any of the pain you're feeling."

"I am not in pain." Blaine said, making himself clear. "I am fucking pissed. I'm pissed that my perfectly healthy son died for no reason and the only this this alcohol is going to do is make me forget how pissed I am...even if it's just for a little while. So, bartender, four shots please." The bartender nodded and got the four shots Blaine asked for and set them in front of him. Blaine picked each the shot glasses up, one by one, and downed them. Sam sighed knowing this was going to be a long night.

After a few hours of drinking, Sam decided that he needed to get Blaine home. "Okay, Blaine. I think it's time to go home." He said, grabbing his friend by the waist and holding him up.

"I am home." Blaine drunkenly slurred. "Let's just keep drinking…"

"No, I think you've done enough of that. We're leaving." Sam said. He led Blaine out of the bar and began leading him home. They got to the apartment building and Blaine could barely stand by that point. "Come on buddy, we're almost home." Sam coaxed as he led Blaine to the elevator. While the elevator went up, Blaine groaned.

"I don't feel good." he moaned.

"Just hold on. We're almost home." Sam said helping Blaine out of the elevator. He knocked on the apartment door, which opened up to reveal Kurt, with a very angry look on his face. 'You're going to want to grab a bucket." Sam warned.

"I said to come spend time with him, not get him drunk!" Kurt scolded.

"Believe me, it wasn't' my idea." Sam replied. Suddenly, next to him, Blaine started to gag and Kurt and Sam were quick to get him over the kitchen sink before Blaine start to throw up. Kurt groaned, but rubbed circles on his husband's back.

"Sam, can you go into our bedroom and set the trashcan next to the bed? And, grab some pajamas for Blaine and set them on the bed?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, sure. I really am sorry Kurt." Sam apologized. "This wasn't my idea. I only stayed because I was afraid to leave him."

"It's fine." Kurt replied. "You're a good friend." Sam smiled and disappeared into the bedroom. After Sam left, Kurt looked back to Blaine who gagging over the sink. "Shh, it's okay." Kurt cooed. "Get it out." Blaine gagged once again and threw up in the sink. When Blaine was finished, Kurt helped him into the bedroom. "I can take it from here Sam."

"Okay, give me a call if either of you need anything. I'm staying in a hotel tonight and then heading home in the morning." Sam replied, before leaving the bedroom. Then, Kurt sat Blaine down on the bed and began undressing him to put pajamas on him. "I know you're still grieving, but this is not the way to do it, hun." Kurt scolded. Blaine didn't say anything. In fact, Kurt wasn't sure he was actually listening. He got Blaine dressed and then sat him back down on the bed. "Are you going to say anything?" Kurt asked.

"I don't feel good again…" Blaine muttered. Kurt sighed and helped Blaine to the bathroom where he doubled over toilet and threw up again. Kurt sat behind him and ran his fingers through Blaine's hair that was breaking free from his gelled prison. "Oh, what am I going to do with you?" Kurt muttered. He truly didn't know.

Friday, August 7, 2024

After Blaine's drunken night, he was finally doing a bit better. Kurt on the other hand just needed to get out. He had arranged to go out with Rachel. They hadn't talked since Rachel had tried to force him to eat and Kurt had blown up at her. He knew she was just trying to help that night, but she just pushed too far.

He walked to the restaurant and saw Rachel sitting at a table by herself. She smiled when she him and stood up to give Kurt a hug. "It's good to see you." Rachel said.

"Yeah, you too." Kurt replied with a smile as he gave Rachel a hug. After, he took a seat at the table. And, at first, it was awkwardly silent.

"I-I" They both began.

"You first…" Rachel said.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for acting the way I did the other night." Kurt said.

"No, I should be the one saying I was sorry." Rachel said. "I just kept pushing and that was wrong. I shouldn't have accused Blaine of not caring for you either."

"Yeah…" Kurt said. "At the time that was pretty bad, but if you said it now I may believe you. Blaine's barely taking care of himself right now."

"What's going on with him?" Rachel asked.

"He got completely wasted the other night and I spent the whole night making sure he wouldn't choke on his own vomit." Kurt sighed. "He's angry and upset just like I am. But, I feel like he's self destructing."

"I did some research and I found this." Rachel said handing Kurt a paper. "It's a support group for parents who had a baby die of SIDS. You can go or not go. I just wanted to let you know it was out there."

"Thanks Rach." Kurt replied. "I'll bring it up to Blaine. Now, no more sad talk, let's just eat." Kurt said, even though he knew he wouldn't be able to eat much.

After eating, Kurt headed home and found Blaine sleeping on the couch, a half full bottle of wine in his fist. Kurt scowled and went over and grabbed it from him before pushing him to walk him up. "Wake up." Kurt said.

"What the hell?" Blaine muttered.

"Isn't it a little early to be getting drunk?" Kurt questioned, holding up the bottle of wine.

"I'm not drunk." Blaine barked back.

"Oh really, is that why you were passed out on our sofa?" Kurt yelled.

"You know what, you're be such an asshole" Blaine replied.

"Me? I'm the one taking care of your drunken ass, day and night!" Kurt retorted.

"And what about me?" Blaine yelled. "I'm not allowed to grieve. I took care of you when you were practically comatose in bed! I bathed you and forced food down your throat! You had your time and this is mine, so just stop being such an asshole about it!" he added before stomping off to the bedroom and slamming the door. Kurt scowled and wanted to scream. In a way Blaine was right, but that wasn't good enough. All Kurt knew was that tonight, he was sleeping on the couch.


	9. Chapter 8

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Blaine walked into the kitchen, hesitantly waiting to see if another fight might breakout. He realized Kurt was right when he woke up in the middle of the night and promptly emptied his stomach into the toilet. He had definitely drank too much. "Hey…" he said, quietly.

"Hi." Kurt replied. "I-"

"I'm sorry." They both blurted out.

"You can go." Blaine said, politely letting his husband speak first.

"You were right." Kurt said. "We're both grieving and you did take care of me when I was really depressed. You were there and you didn't judge me or the ways I was coping. I should do the same for you."

"But, you were right too." Blaine said. "I was drunk and that is not how I should cope. The only thing drinking that much does is destroy my liver...and frankly, I'd like to keep that." he joked.

"I couldn't agree more." Kurt replied. "I still can't eat." He confessed. "I'm not starving myself on purpose. Sometimes I just forget and when I do eat, my stomach hurts so badly."

"So I think we both need to find a better way to cope." Blaine offered.

"I may have a solution to that." Kurt said. "Rachel found this SIDS support group. I think we should try it."

"I'll do it, if you never leave my side." Blaine said.

"Never." Kurt agreed before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his husband's lips.

Friday, August 30, 2024

Kurt and Blaine walked hand in hand to the building where the SIDS support group was held. Both were nervous and anxious to experience this. They walked into a large room where there were folding chairs set up in a circle. They walked over to the chairs and sat down, still holding one another's hands as the other members filed in and took their seats. Soon enough a tall woman, took the center of the circle.

"Welcome, to all of our old and new members." She began. "We're all here because we have all experienced an unimaginable loss. I lost my own little girl, Lily to SIDS three years ago and it still hurts, but it does get better. So for those of you who are still working through your grief, know that it does get better. I'd like to open up the floor for anyone who feels comfortable sharing." They sat in silence for a while, no one wanting to speak.

"I have something to say…" A short woman said softly. "I-I lost my son, Thomas about a year ago...and I'm having trouble with sorting through his things. We need the space, but I just can't bare to touch any of it."

"I had the same problem." Another woman replied. "It'll take time and it'll be painful, but eventually you'll get through it. Just sorting through things doesn't make him gone. Those are all physical things. You'll never lose the memories of him." After that other people continued to talk and some couples shared their stories about the day their children died. Kurt could barely hold in the tears as he clutched Blaine's hand.

After the meeting, Kurt and Blaine walked out to the car and they drove home. It was silent except for the sound of the soft music on the radio. As soon as they got home, they made their way inside and Kurt went towards their bedroom. "Kurt?" Blaine called, but his husband didn't answer. So, he went after him and found Kurt sitting on the edge of the bed. "I thought the group helped. Knowing we're not alone is a good feeling." Without saying a word, Kurt looked toward his husband and Blaine realized he was crying. "Oh honey...' Blaine said, rushing forward and pulling his husband in his arms.

"I-I thought it would help, b-but it didn't." Kurt sobbed. "It didn't help." Blaine sighed and laid back on the bed, curling Kurt into his chest as he sobbed. The lady at the support group had been right. As time went on, the pain never went away and right now was one of those moments when the pain was at it's worst. Blaine honestly didn't know how they would get through it.

**Sorry this chapter was so short...**


	10. Chapter 9

Saturday, September 7, 2024

Kurt walked through the hallways of Calvin Klein, his new sketches pressed to his chest. It was a good feeling being back at work. There was nothing to remind him of Ryan...just fashion and tons of work to be done. While he walked, he heard a commotion coming from the lobby, which was strange. Nothing very exciting, except for the occasional angry model, ever really happened. He stopped in his office and set down his papers before heading out to the lobby where a huge group of girls was standing. He walked closer and saw, Libby, one of the assistants, standing their with her new baby boy...

"Oh Kurt! There you are." Libby called. "You have come meet my new little boy." she cooed holding the infant in her arms. Kurt felt like he couldn't breathe. His heart was pounding in his chest and his eyes filling with tears.

"N-no. I'm feeling a bit under the weather. I wouldn't want to pass anything to him." Kurt lied, before heading into his office. He leaned up against the desk and took deep breaths, but nothing could stop the emotional rollercoaster going on inside of him. Kurt grabbed his coat and pulled it on before leaving his office and sneaking out through the service entrance, not wanting to confront any of his co-workers. He hurried home as fast as he could and soon enough he was back at the apartment. That was when the tears came. His started to cry, but not just sad crying. These were angry tears. Why would his son be taken? What had he possibly done to deserve such a thing?

He went to the desk and pulled out his sketchbook and ripped it open to reveal the tiny baby clothes he had been sketching when Ryan was alive. He ripped it open and tore the designs out ripping them to shreds angrily. Still angry, he move to the nursery and went inside. He hadn't been there since Ryan had died. He looked around, tears in his eyes, as he destroyed the bedroom. He tipped the rocking chair over and ripped the bedding from the crib. When he was finished, Kurt slid down the wall and curled into a ball as he sobbed.

About ten minutes later, the sound of the front door closing shook Kurt from his trance. "Kurt?" he heard. Blaine walked down the hallway and saw the nursery door opened. When he walked inside, he was appalled at what he saw. "W-what did you do?" he stuttered, mouth gaped open.

"I-I didn't mean to." Kurt cried.

"Y-you destroyed his nursery." Blaine cried. "W-why would you do that?"

"I-I was just so angry and it just happened." Kurt sobbed.

"T-this w-was one of the last things we had left of him." Blaine cried. "How could you get rid of that? I-I can't stay here anymore." he cried. Blaine left the nursery and went into the bedroom where he grabbed a duffle bag and began stuffing it with clothes.

"B-Blaine. P-please. Where are you going?" Kurt sobbed.

"I-I just can't be here. I can't believe you would do something like that." Blaine replied. He grabbed the bag and began making his way out.

"P-please don't leave. Please. I need you.' Kurt yelled, but Blaine didn't stop, still caught up in his own emotions. Kurt watched as Blaine left the apartment and he crumpled to the ground for the second time that day.

After leaving the apartment, Blaine realized he really didn't have anywhere to go. He could go to Rachel's...but he just didn't think he could handle Rachel right not. Not knowing anyone else, he made his way across town and knocked on the apartment of Elliot Gilbert. They had kept in touch with Elliot over the years and he had been at Ryan's funeral. When the door opened, Elliot looked confused. "Hey Blaine...what are you doing here?"

"C-can I stay here?" Blaine asked. "I-I wouldn't be that long I promise. I had a fight with Kurt and I-I just can't be in that apartment."

"Yeah man...come on in." Elliot said opening up the door. He invited Blaine in and made him comfortable setting up the couch. Elliot offered Blaine dinner, but he claimed he wasn't hungry. He was content just lying on Elliot's couch.

That night, Blaine couldn't sleep and was just in so much pain. He couldn't fathom what Kurt did. He knew how important that nursery was. They both had put so many hours into that before Ryan birth. Feeling so overwhelmed, Blaine ran into the bathroom and braced himself over the sink as he cried. Maybe things would be better if they were just over. Then...he could be pain free and see his son again. Blaine opened up Elliot's medicine cabinet. Inside were Tums, aspirin...and a bottle of oxycodone. He vaguely remembered Elliot getting surgery on...something that required him to be on pain meds. He twisted the cap of and poured the pills in his hand, before he stared at them for a moment. Then after letting out a deep breath, Blaine thrust the pills into his mouth and swallowed them all. This would surely take the pain away.

As the pills took effect, Blaine realized that this was no the pain free ending he thought. These pills hurt... his stomach felt like someone was ripping it open. Blaine tried to stay quiet, but the pain was too much and he let out a scream of pain. He lay on the ground in agony. Soon enough, things began to get black. But, before he lost consciousness, Blaine saw Elliot run inside of the bathroom and hover over him. His mouth was moving, but Blaine didn't understand what he was saying. He watch as Elliot took out his cellphone and dialed 911. Then everything faded to black.

Across town, Kurt was frantic as he talked on the phone with Rachel. "He left, Rachel! He really left!" he cried.

"Maybe he just needed sometime, Kurt." She told him. "He didn't say he was leaving you. Just calm down."

"No. He's alone. I- I have to go look for him." Kurt said. "I have to make sure he's okay." he added looking for his car keys.

"Kurt, you're in no position to drive." Rachel scolded, but Kurt didn't listen. He went out to his car and got in before speeding off into the streets of New York. "Kurt, please stop and turn around. I will come over and we'll look for Blaine together."

"No- I-I can't." Kurt said. "I screwed up and I lost him. I already lost Ryan. I can't lose Blaine too!"

"Kurt please!" Rachel begged. Suddenly, Rachel heard a blare of a horn through the phone and then a loud crashing noise. "Kurt! Kurt!" she screamed into the phone, but there was no response...

**Double update! And a cliffhanger!**


	11. Chapter 10

Saturday, September 7, 2024

"Come on Blaine. Stay with me!" Elliot screamed as he tried to wake Blaine up. Not knowing what else to do, Elliot pulled out his phone and dialed 911. "Hello, yes. My friend...he took a bunch of pills and now he's unconscious. We need an ambulance right away at 7395 River Avenue." he said quickly to the operator on the other end of the phone.

About five minutes later, the paramedics rushed into Elliot's apartment and went to work on Blaine. They started checking his pulse and strapped an oxygen mask to his face before getting him on a stretcher and rushing out of the apartment. Elliot got in the ambulance as well and rode with them too the hospital. Once there, the doctor's took Blaine away and Elliot was left by himself in the waiting room.

Just across town, Rachel had heard a huge crash and just knew something was wrong with Kurt. She grabbed her jacket and headed out into the streets of New York, praying that she could find Kurt. A few blocks down there were cop cars and fire engines everywhere. She immediately went into a run and as she got closer saw Kurt's car, smashed...completely totalled. She runs closer to the caution line, but an officer stops her. "Please, that's my friend!" She begs, forcing her way through. Eventually, Rachel fights her way through and runs over to Kurt. He's strapped to a stretcher and is unconscious. There is blood running from his head and his foot is bent as a strange angle.

"Miss, you can't be here!" An officer yelled.

"I just want to go to the hospital with him please. He's my best friend." Rachel begged. The officer looked at the paramedics, who nodded and the officer finally conceded. Rachel climbed in the ambulance and took a seat, so she was out of the paramedics way. When they got to the hospital, Kurt started to code and the doctors took his away, leaving Rachel by herself.

"Rachel?" She hears suddenly and looks up.

"Elliot? What are you doing here? Are you alright?" She asked.

"I'm fine." Elliot replied. "Why are you here?"

"Kurt was in a car accident." Rachel told him, her eyes filled with tears. "Wait, if you aren't hurt, why are you at the hospital?"

"Blaine came to me and asked to stay." Elliot replied. "I found him in my bathroom tonight after downing a bottle of oxycodone pills. He-He tried to kill himself." That news left Rachel with her mouth hanging wide open. How had they gotten here?

Later that night, a doctor came out. "Anyone here for Blaine Anderson-Hummel?" he asked.

"We both are." Elliot replied, pointing to himself and Rachel.

"Mr. Anderson-Hummel is going to be fine." The doctor said. "We pumped his stomach and now he's on suicide watch."

"Can we see him?" Rachel asked.

"He's not even awake." The doctor replied. "But, possibly, later." he added.

"And do you know anything about Kurt Anderson-Hummel. He was in a car accident." she asks.

"I can go check with his doctor's." The man replied, before disappearing. He returned about five minutes later and didn't look happy. "The other Mr. Anderson-Hummel was taken into emergency surgery because of a minor brain bleed. He also broke his foot. We'll keep you updated." Rachel leaned into Elliot's side. They were in for a long night.

Sunday, September 8, 2024

When Blaine opened his eyes the next morning, he had no idea where he was. All he knew was that his throat hurt like crazy and that he couldn't move. He looked down to his wrists and saw thick restraints around him. Then he looked up around the room and found Rachel in the chair in the corner of the room. "Rach?" he asked weakly.

"Blaine?" She asked sleepily. "Hey you're awake." she said walking over to his bedside.

"W-what happened?" Blaine asked and she frowned.

"Y-you tried to kill yourself." She told him.

"Oh…" He replied, remembering the events of last night. "W-where's Kurt?" he asked.

"Okay, I need you to not freak out.' She began and Blaine felt his heartbeat speed up. "Kurt was in a car accident."

"What?" Blaine exclaimed. "Is he okay? I have to see him."

"Blaine calm down." Rachel said trying to hold him down.

"No! I need to see Kurt." he yelled as two nurses and a doctor ran into the room. The doctor grabbed a syringe from the medicine dispenser and came towards him. "Wait! Stop please. I'll stop. Don't sedate me please." he begged. "I'll calm down I promise. Just, let me see my husband."

"Blaine, I'm sorry, but you're still on suicide watch. We can't let you out." the doctor replied.

"Then just wheel me to his room." Blaine replied. "You can keep the restraints on. I won't do anything. I just want to see him." The doctor thought for a moment before finally nodding. They unhooked Blaine's monitors and wheeled his bed down the hallway where Kurt's room was. When he gets there, he sees Kurt, still asleep, his head wrapped in a white bandage and a blue cast on his foot.

"Oh god…" Blaine said, his eyes filling with tears. The doctor wheels him closer to Kurt's bed. All Blaine wants to do is hold Kurt's hand, but he can't because he's restrained. "Kurt, honey…" he calls and sees Kurt begin to stir. His eyes flutter open and look directly at Blaine.

"Blaine, what?" He asks weakly.

"You're in the hospital honey." Blaine tells him. "You're okay. You were in a car accident."

"W-why are you here too?" Kurt asks. "Were you in the car with me?"

"No sweetheart. I-I wasn't.' Blaine replied.

"I don't get it. What happened to you?" Kurt asked him again."

"I-I tried to kill myself." He confessed and Kurt gasped. "But, I know what I did was stupid. I won't do it again. I promise. When I was unconscious...I saw Ryan. H-he was happy and smiling at me. It helped...knowing our little boy was safe and happy."

"I-I saw him too." Kurt confessed. "When they put me under for whatever surgery I had...I saw him. He was happy just like you said. And knowing that gives me so much peace of mind….but we're both not okay. We need help."

"I agree." Blaine replied. "I think we should see a therapist. Separate and together."

"I think that's a good idea' Kurt replied. "Make me a promise. You'll never do what you did last night to yourself ever again."

"I promise." Blaine replied. "And...try to not get in anymore car accidents."

"I will try." Kurt replied. "I love you."

"I love you too." Blaine replied. He smiled as Kurt reached out and grabbed his hand. Although the days events had been awful, maybe they were just what the boys needed to discover the truth. They needed help and now they were finally willing to get it.


	12. Authors Note

Hey guys,

So I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I have decided to put my fic "the Journey to Acceptance" on hiatus for a little bit, but I do have intentions to finish it. I had major writer's block and it was making me angry. However, today another story came to me and cleared that up. It's a multi chapter fic and I'll be posting it tonight. It's called "Another's Arms."

I hope all of you will go and read my new fic and follow and review (please!). Also thank you for bearing with my writer's block!

Thanks

Klainelover1997


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